November Brings a Burst of Remembrance

Dear Friends,

With a burst of remembrance, you and I, our whole church, in the first two days of November, embrace the dead: the holy and historic saints who have gone before us, the holy ones in our families and among our friends, who have no saintly titles but whose lives were rich with human vitality, courage and love.  We remember also people we don’t know, but mourn their tragic and untimely passing, most recently, the passengers and crew of the Russian plane that went down over the Sinai Peninsula  just last weekend. On these days, we remember all who live in the great beyond. We honor them all. We bless them and ask their blessing.

In many places around the world, family members go to the burial places of their dead, clean and decorate them, honor their beloved by their presence and actions, call to mind the lessons of these remembered  lives, talk with their dead.

Christian burial practices have ancient origins. In those early centuries, after a procession to the grave, the Eucharist was celebrated, and a eulogy was given- words of praise for the life of the deceased interwoven with the consolation that the Christian faith offers at the time of loss. Relatives would give a final kiss to the body of the deceased. This kiss witnessed to the affection of people for the deceased and the belief that this body was indeed holy, sacred. That kiss appalled non-Christians, who thought that any contact with the corpse defiled them. At first, families buried their dead in the catacombs outside the city. Later, when churches were allowed to be built,  cemeteries  were planted  around them. It was a deeply held   belief that both the church and the people whose bodies were buried in these cemeteries, made the church grounds holy.

Vatican II opened up the possibility for Catholics to be buried in non-Catholic cemeteries, where their plots were blessed and named holy. Cremation also came to be accepted as well, with reverence for the human body still at the core of the practice.

All of this is to say that “the body is the human place of meeting between God and humanity. The body is  the possibility and the reality of communication with God” according to theologian and Cardinal Walter Kasper.

Have you someone buried in a local cemetery? This month, go there to honor them, listen to them speaking to us from beyond. Or  if you have no one buried nearby, go to a cemetery anyway, to honor the lives of the strangers buried there. They are related to us as well.

Harder than doing either of these, talk with a loved one about his/her burial wishes. They may be nowhere near dying, but there is a value in doing this while death seems to be a distant reality. Sharing this conversation gives you both the chance to raise up both questions and beliefs about honoring the body,  about death as  a passage and  about life beyond the grave.

~ Sister Joan Sobala 

PS.  Join me for two upcoming Fresh Wind In Our Sails Programs:(Send me an email if you'd like to go at jsobala@ssjrochester.org)

Finding Faith: A Couples Story

Wednesday, November 4, 2015, 7 – 8.30 pm at the SSJ Motherhouse, 150 French Rd, 14618

Marlene Bessette was a non-practicing Catholic and Eric Bessette was an avowed agnostic when they met. They pushed and pulled each other along to spiritual places neither would have imagined.Come listen and take part (if you wish) in their discussion!

Retreat Day at SSJ Motherhouse

Theme: Becoming More Deeply Who We Are

Saturday, November 7, 10 am to 3 pm

Location: SSJ Motherhouseat , 150 French Rd, 14618

Presenter: Sister Joan Sobala

Cost: $35.00

A Halloween Reflection

 

Dear Friends,

Whether you go out to a Halloween party this year or remember Halloween celebrations from times past, “going as someone else” is part of the ritual involved. We wear clothes that transform us into someone else we have chosen to become and we wear masks. We are temporarily other than who we are.

Beginning with ancient times and cultures, people, taking part in rituals native to their clan, wore masks. The mask allowed them to become the fire god, the demon, the holy one, the alpha ancestor. Those who wore masks found  themselves  thinking  and acting like the figure they personified. Wearing masks temporarily takes us off the hook for answering for ourselves and our actions. One Halloween, when I was dressed as a pumpkin, with padding that enlarged and changed my look, several  masked  people pushed me deliberately and rudely. They would have been chagrined to know who they were really pushing around. I didn’t expect that, but am not surprised. Masks allow us to be intemperate, to do things which we would think twice about doing in our ordinary lives. But masks do not necessarily bring out the worst in us.

The Lone Ranger, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Avengers are among the many masked figures of our culture.  They worked for good in their own way. Masks do not always diminish us.

I think of the Scriptures, where some characters wore disguises. That’s how Jacob, instead of Esau, won his blessing from his father. Levi (Matthew) and Zacchaeus wore the mask of the tax collector. There must have been some core of goodness and openness to God that Jesus perceived in them that caused him to welcome them despite their public image. Names can be considered masks of  sorts.   

At the time of deep interior change, being given a new name is a way of announcing to the world that the mask is off.  Saul to Paul, Simon to Peter.

In our families, we sometimes wear masks. Do they hide or reveal who we are – who we are striving to be?

With our public face, do we reveal  who we really are?  Think of the microphones, hidden backstage, which revealed the political figures true thoughts not said onstage.

Jesus wore no masks. He was who he was. Before God, we can wear no masks. We can try, of course, to wear one, but that only shows how little we know of the God who knows us through and through. (Psalm 138. Read it all.)  

~Sister Joan Sobala 

PS. Don't miss these upcoming Fresh Wind In Our Sails Programs.

Wednesday, November 4, 7 – 8:30 pm

Finding Faith: A Couples Story

Location: SSJ Motherhouse

Marlene Bessette was a non-practicing Catholic and Eric Bessette was an avowed agnostic when they met. They pushed and pulled each other along to spiritual places neither would have imagined.

Saturday, November 7, 10 am to 3 pm

Retreat Day at SSJ Motherhouse

Theme: Becoming More Deeply Who We Are

Presenter: Sister Joan Sobala

Cost: $35.00

Take Some Time For a Retreat

Dear Friends,

The voice mail message was from Rosie who plans to come to a one day retreat at our Motherhouse in early November. She was calling me about her friend whom she has invited to join us. There was hesitation in Rosie’s friend. She had no idea what happens at a retreat, so would I please write up a description, send it to Rosie to pass on to her friend. I hit my forehead with the heel of my hand. “Of course! Many of us who are used to the time away called retreat don’t realize that not everyone is familiar with the meaning and process of such a day, nor its benefits for them!”  Thus, this week’s blog.

Retreat is a general term which means taking a long look at who I am/who we are and how I am/we are moving on the journey that unfolds as we walk toward the future. Corporate executives retreat, professionals in various fields make a retreat. People searching  to know themselves  make a retreat. So do those who want to experience/master a discipline of some kind (yoga, qigong, etc.) Not all people who make a retreat have religious motivations. But some do, and I don’t just mean priests, Sisters and those committed to pastoral ministry. I mean ordinary people who have families, are single, young or older. Some people make an annual retreat of a day or more to refresh, regroup their thoughts, look back, look ahead, just be at home with themselves  and our God, make room for the Holy Spirit. The retreat is for the participant and his/her relationship with God, whatever that might mean. Sometimes, retreats spin out a particular theme, and people come because the theme resonates with them.

Most of the time, a skilled retreat director guides the event – someone who has experience in working sensitively with people on their life journey. (S)he will walk you through it. Often, retreats offer common times for input by the retreat guide, with breaks to be alone to walk, pray, just be, to empty one’s mind of clutter. Guiding questions/thoughts are often given for follow-up discussion back in the group. During these times of focused conversation, another person may voice what we are thinking, even better than we can. We find that we are not alone in our efforts to become more deeply who we are. We find God embracing us: “Do not be afraid, dear one.” Participants can share as little or as much as they’d like. There is no one way, no preferred way to make a retreat.

What will not happen on retreat? No hard sell on specific ways of thinking. No expectations of a specific outcome or moment of enlightenment, although that could happen. No embarrassing moments where people feel cornered. Mutual respect is the foundation upon which the retreat is built.

“Come to me… and I will refresh you,” Jesus says to His followers (Matthew 11.28) .That sums up a retreat: resting a while with the Lord. When the retreat opportunity comes, hold out your hands, let yourself be led, take in the Spirit, be enriched, be open to the future, which, as the late great Yogi Berra once said, isn’t what it used to be.

~Sister Joan Sobala

PS: Our next retreat day is Saturday, November 7,  10 am to 3 pm at the SSJ Motherhouse.              Theme: Becoming More Deeply Who We Are Cost: $35.00, including lunch and materials. If you'd like to go contact me at jsobala@ssjrochester.org or call me at (585)- 733-2555